While walking with Maggie Smith in Bexley she told me staying rooted—never having lived anywhere other than central Ohio, save a nine-month stint in Gettysburg, PA—is one of the ways she takes care of herself. “If you take care of yourself, you're taking care of the writer inside of you, and thus you’re taking care of your writing.” Maggie went on to say, “Taking care of oneself looks different for different people. Some people really need to travel to take care of themselves […] Some people really need to be close to their family to take care of themselves, and others need to be as far away from their family as possible.” With the holidays on the horizon, the end of the year approaching, and the sun seemingly setting mere minutes after it rises, I wanted to ask y’all—and perhaps take a moment so we could all remember the importance of focusing on what feeds us—how do you take care of yourself?
This is such an interesting question, Isaac. I hadn't read your interview with Maggie Smith until just now, but hearing what she says about living in central Ohio her whole life really resonated with me. I used to think -- over the years as I've heard stories from friends and acquaintances about all the different places they've lived, across the U.S. and around the world -- that maybe I hadn't been brave enough to try the same thing.
I've lived in Georgia my whole life, except for the time I spent going to college in Tennessee (though that still involved lots of trips back home and during the summer). Now, I think that -- especially in this world we live in now, in which technology threatens to swallow us all up, that staying rooted in and near the place I grew up, feels like it sustains me. I want my kids to know it too, to have a feel for where they come from, the stories of their family. Staying close to that feels like a good thing to me.
Such a great question! I try to walk outside frequently and look at the natural world around me. In Houston, we can see the seasons change by bird migration, so it's very centering to track the changes when we're out walking. I also engage with a variety of pop culture that brings me joy.
Eight hours of sleep no matter what (which I couldn’t do before my forties but luckily I can now). I not only sleep but I (dream or nightmare) and I can really feel my body did its thing it needed to do. I also meditate. Still have bouts of falling off that wagon but when I am on it, I meditate 20 min every day. I struggle for many reasons to find a physical activity that I love to stick to habitually. So that’s my next goal. But if nothing else, solo dance parties get the blood flowing!
My friend has a checklist she does every day: did you stretch, are you drinking fluids, did you eat today. Just very basic things that might be neglected or forgotten when we are over-burdened or stressed. There have been times she has called and asked, did you bathe today, did you eat? when she knows I am down… I usually have, and although it might seem strange, I know she has the best intentions.
Walks along Lake Michigan’s shores (staring at a body of water resets things for me), remembering to drink fluids, painting familiar things, and talking with friends I love all feed me. Thank you for such a thoughtful question!
Being outside, with fresh air and walks and flowers and taking pictures of things that strike me. Sunrise and sunset pictures. Petting dogs.
Time with friends - especially those I can just spend time with, without expectations.
Quality time with my husband, especially on vacation or just sitting in a brewery with a board game and a good beer.
Massages and exercise - being in touch with my body and tending to it.
I love my family, but they can stress me out; I feel more relaxed and loved with my chosen family, ironically enough. We spent Thanksgiving with friends who have embraced us warmly as part of their clan, and it felt really lovely even if we didn't have the lifelong history of the inside jokes and sibling rivalries :)
Beers with friends in pubs and good convo. Less friends like beers these days and pubs don't like kiddos so it's a conundrum of epic proportions lately. Yes, dinner and stoop convos are great and I love having my kids join for so much but I just really feel reenergized from the clink of glasses and chatter and meandering convos about anything but kids.
Walking, yoga, and taking time for myself whether that is reading, journaling, writing or just puttering about the house. Not having any commitments and resisting the urge to be “productive” in our productivity obsessed culture. When I can integrate that into my weeks, my days feel more balanced.
Probably about once a year, I need a few days where I'm not responsible for anyone or anything but myself. Ye olde mom's lament, etc. etc. So I'm a big fan of solo trips, whether they are long train trips or just a couple days holed away to write in a cabin or somewhere in the next nearby city.
By putting the animal of my body first. It helps me to remember that as humans we're really just mid-sized social mammals who need plenty of time for sleep and touch and naps in the sunshine and hours spent running around outdoors. Talking care of those foundational essentials first makes everything else a joy.
I love being outside, enjoying the crisp winter air. Tucking myself into a comfy chair at my favorite coffee shop, book in front of me, reflecting. And exercising on my treadmill and rowing machine is how I take care of myself. Having time for me is so important, it's how I center my thoughts and recharge my body.
Make sure I don't work too many hours, have at least one meal with a friend every week, make time to read (bonus points if in a café), give my partner lots of back hugs, and write every day!
Good question rightnow WOW .well..meditation, laying down with my cats .,reading, or checking some other points of Views . But I have to be honest , today I wasnt feeling ok ..I think I am crumble down.
Im a little concern.cause I was feeling kindda suicidal .but I decide to focus on study AND knowledge...to do not thinking anymore..so yes..I am here..fighting I Guess .AND some unknown people reading me right now. Hi. AND thanks for reading
This is such an interesting question, Isaac. I hadn't read your interview with Maggie Smith until just now, but hearing what she says about living in central Ohio her whole life really resonated with me. I used to think -- over the years as I've heard stories from friends and acquaintances about all the different places they've lived, across the U.S. and around the world -- that maybe I hadn't been brave enough to try the same thing.
I've lived in Georgia my whole life, except for the time I spent going to college in Tennessee (though that still involved lots of trips back home and during the summer). Now, I think that -- especially in this world we live in now, in which technology threatens to swallow us all up, that staying rooted in and near the place I grew up, feels like it sustains me. I want my kids to know it too, to have a feel for where they come from, the stories of their family. Staying close to that feels like a good thing to me.
Such a great question! I try to walk outside frequently and look at the natural world around me. In Houston, we can see the seasons change by bird migration, so it's very centering to track the changes when we're out walking. I also engage with a variety of pop culture that brings me joy.
Eight hours of sleep no matter what (which I couldn’t do before my forties but luckily I can now). I not only sleep but I (dream or nightmare) and I can really feel my body did its thing it needed to do. I also meditate. Still have bouts of falling off that wagon but when I am on it, I meditate 20 min every day. I struggle for many reasons to find a physical activity that I love to stick to habitually. So that’s my next goal. But if nothing else, solo dance parties get the blood flowing!
My friend has a checklist she does every day: did you stretch, are you drinking fluids, did you eat today. Just very basic things that might be neglected or forgotten when we are over-burdened or stressed. There have been times she has called and asked, did you bathe today, did you eat? when she knows I am down… I usually have, and although it might seem strange, I know she has the best intentions.
Walks along Lake Michigan’s shores (staring at a body of water resets things for me), remembering to drink fluids, painting familiar things, and talking with friends I love all feed me. Thank you for such a thoughtful question!
It can vary by season and by mood, but:
Being outside, with fresh air and walks and flowers and taking pictures of things that strike me. Sunrise and sunset pictures. Petting dogs.
Time with friends - especially those I can just spend time with, without expectations.
Quality time with my husband, especially on vacation or just sitting in a brewery with a board game and a good beer.
Massages and exercise - being in touch with my body and tending to it.
I love my family, but they can stress me out; I feel more relaxed and loved with my chosen family, ironically enough. We spent Thanksgiving with friends who have embraced us warmly as part of their clan, and it felt really lovely even if we didn't have the lifelong history of the inside jokes and sibling rivalries :)
Beers with friends in pubs and good convo. Less friends like beers these days and pubs don't like kiddos so it's a conundrum of epic proportions lately. Yes, dinner and stoop convos are great and I love having my kids join for so much but I just really feel reenergized from the clink of glasses and chatter and meandering convos about anything but kids.
Thank you for asking this because I hadn't realized what I was missing until just now!
Walking, yoga, and taking time for myself whether that is reading, journaling, writing or just puttering about the house. Not having any commitments and resisting the urge to be “productive” in our productivity obsessed culture. When I can integrate that into my weeks, my days feel more balanced.
Probably about once a year, I need a few days where I'm not responsible for anyone or anything but myself. Ye olde mom's lament, etc. etc. So I'm a big fan of solo trips, whether they are long train trips or just a couple days holed away to write in a cabin or somewhere in the next nearby city.
By putting the animal of my body first. It helps me to remember that as humans we're really just mid-sized social mammals who need plenty of time for sleep and touch and naps in the sunshine and hours spent running around outdoors. Talking care of those foundational essentials first makes everything else a joy.
I just wrote about this yesterday! For me, it looks a lot like Epsom salt baths and tending to my curiosities in my Notes app. (Walks, too.) https://lindseytrouthughes.substack.com/p/gathering-myself-in-the-notes-app
This is a question I’m still figuring out for myself. At the moment, getting out of the house by any means necessary is what I’m focusing on.
I love being outside, enjoying the crisp winter air. Tucking myself into a comfy chair at my favorite coffee shop, book in front of me, reflecting. And exercising on my treadmill and rowing machine is how I take care of myself. Having time for me is so important, it's how I center my thoughts and recharge my body.
Make sure I don't work too many hours, have at least one meal with a friend every week, make time to read (bonus points if in a café), give my partner lots of back hugs, and write every day!
Good question rightnow WOW .well..meditation, laying down with my cats .,reading, or checking some other points of Views . But I have to be honest , today I wasnt feeling ok ..I think I am crumble down.
Im a little concern.cause I was feeling kindda suicidal .but I decide to focus on study AND knowledge...to do not thinking anymore..so yes..I am here..fighting I Guess .AND some unknown people reading me right now. Hi. AND thanks for reading
Another vote for walking...it’s the foundation of my 3+ yo weekly newsletter! https://thepedestrianpundit.substack.com and a pillar of my mental health!